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| Not for use by children under 5. Otherwise, go nuts! |
Is your home adequately protected? Are you secure when you sleep at night? Remember, anyone can fall victim to the millions of home invaders in the United States. They’re everywhere and YOU could be next! Get the latest in domestic protection with the NRA-Endorsed Home Defense Hand Grenades!
Remember, security cameras and alarms won't protect you from a determined invasion, and especially not from ninjas or aliens. Security cameras don’t kill people— PEOPLE WITH FIREPOWER DO!
These easy-to-handle, ergonomically molded grenades feature an E-Z Pull Timing Pin and monogrammed casing straight from God via the United States military. Guaranteed stopping power for any home invader under 900 pounds!
Our NRA-Endorsed Home Defense Hand Grenades will not only protect your home and belongings from ninja invaders, they will blow your invaders into Self-Assembling Smithereen Artwork! This fetching decor for your post-invasion home shows your patriotism by depicting an American flag imprisoning your home invader!
"Yeah, that's the guy that came in here and tried to steal our shit.
Turns out he was just trick-or-treating, but hey, bonus flag art!"
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